Saturday 1 June 2013

Fitting monstrosities, and creepy meter...

What inspired me to write this: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

Oddly enough, I didn’t really dislike this book, and will read the sequel. Despite this, poor author is at his first book, and wanted to put so many – good! – ideas in it that it ended as a jumble, and many, many of the pieces just don’t fit. Especially one...

Now, it started as a somewhat historical mystery (I liked it), then we had an unlikable protagonist (you call your best friend’s mother a whore, then he doesn’t talk to you, and you’re offended?!), went on with time-travel (enjoyment began to drop), magical powers, insensate decisions, then a monster showed up...
And I was supposed to be creeped out? When I see a monster fighting the good guys, which include a girl shooting fireballs from her hands, an invisible guy that bleeds red when wounded, a cute blondie who has a mouth with sharp fangs on the back of her head, and the list could go on (right, because these are not creepy at all)...
Bonus points for the monster NOT being a poorly disguised allegory of Nazis (part of the story is set in WW2, and the actual Nazis who show up are so marginal and dumb they’re not even worth mentioning).

Now we come to what I was talking about: what fits into your story, this time about creatures. Will maybe add more, now on to various monstrosities.

In fantasy, whether it’s some guy going on an epic quest or just the setting, having orcs, dragons, slimes, you name it, attack the characters usually fits. In high fantasy, it especially does. Even if your monsters are made up. Like A Song of Ice and Fire, there are some new creatures that fit into the world like puzzle pieces. The Inheritance Cycle isn’t at the top of the list, but Urgals and Ra’zac are good monsters in that universe. I left out Tolkien because he’s mainly the basis; now don’t tell me the Nazgul and the trolls should be left out; they’re good in the setting.
Also, some of these monsters are creepy enough to provide just the right amount of excitement and apprehension for the characters.

Now, if you want to make up a monster, feel free to do it. It’s okay even if it’s a rip-off of some Tolkien creature with some extra features added, it’s still a basic fantasy monster, your characters can fight it. Or even turn the trope around, these monsters could not be hostile! But now I went off-topic, sorry.
Nazgul attacking Frodo? It is scary, and though you’re positive Frodo won’t die (not then and there, at least), it’s not like you close the book due to boredom. Durza fighting Eragon? It is an epic fight between your clichéd fantasy protagonist and the main villain of the first book. The setting isn’t anything new, but the fight is there, it’s needed, the Shade is a good adversary...

There are some problems if the monster in question looks like something you could see only if high on LSD, even worse if it turns out to be real, score goes lower if it’s in an otherwise almost normal world...

Now, should I be creeped out and bite my nails when I see a guy up against some groaning creaure with empty eyes, skin full of dark blotches and claws on its hands which uses its five long tongues to walk around and grab on things? In a supposedly almost-realistic setting?! (Not to mention it survives having a house collapse on top of it, but gets killed by a shearer!) And then affirming that an existing serial killer was such a monster in human form?! Give me a break... at least don’t pretend your hallucination is real! Why the hell did you have to put that in, when the whole story is set in a non-existant place?!
If I saw such an abomination in real life, I’d check the side-effects of the berry jam I ate for breakfast.
When I saw it in the book, I went “oh come on” and kept on munching on my snack as if nothing had happened.
I am also postive something like that would have caused massive eye-rolling even in a high fantasy setting.

Back to the book, do I advise you to read it? If you like old photographs and some thin mystery, yes. They’re the best part of the book – sadly, there was a jumble of a story written around them.


And now please excuse me, I gotta go off write my perfectly realistic story set in 21st century Helsinki where a 3-metre-tall person with bat wings and eyes hanging off his ears, not to mention the transparent skin, is terrorizing those few who are able to see it in the Christmas Market.

Friday 31 May 2013

What is this blog?

As a wannabe writer and avid reader, I tend to be very critical about books or stories in general that I read. By this I don't mean I lash out at everything - I just point out some mistakes, often in quite an ironic way, as in my "How NOT to write insert fandom's name here fanfiction" series, published on www.fanfiction.net. (My pen name is Fomalhaut, look it up if you wish. I am also on DeviantArt with some stories and sketches, http://fomalhaut48.deviantart.com) Sometimes, when I read a book/fanfiction/watch a movie/etc., if there is something I don't like, I tend to analyse why, not simply say "It sucks".

On this blog, I will ironically speak about mistakes, give advice, and point to whatever inspired me to write the post in question.

What can I say... enjoy!